In my opinion, everything is cake, even friendships! Allow me to explain. Think of friendships as cake. Good chemistry is the ingredients to making that cake. But, the ingredients aren't all that is required to bake that cake right? You have to combine those ingredients in the right proportions, and in the right order. After that, you have to bake those assembled ingredients at the right temperature for the right amount of time. After all of that, you have a cake.
I am convinced that so many friendships fail because people often quite do not understand the difference between good chemistry and friendship! We met people with whom we believed our connection was better than it was with anyone else before. So we believed it to be real friendship. But, was it really?
I’d like to think it was just good chemistry. To get from good chemistry to real friendships requires a lot of work in the form of compassion, commitment, respect for yourself and your friend, honesty, communication, a willingness to place your friends’ needs above your own sometimes, a willingness to trust and to be trustworthy, and being able to make time. If you are willing to do these things, you will be rewarded with genuine friendship and you might be able to have a bite of that piece of cake.
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
~Anais Nin
Making friends is one thing, maintaining them with care and affection is another. A lot of times my friends tell me that they feel obligated to be friends with someone and hang on to them without any effort in return. If you might ever feel that way, be with people who choose to be with you out of their own choice and not just out of a mere consequence of circumstances!
Choosing your friends wisely is key after all, our friends define us. Friendships have the power to change us and can help us grow. It only makes sense that we make the effort to work it out. The first step is to know who is good for you and can help you be who you are.
Listening and responding to your friends' needs is important. Let your friends know that they are heard. Do not keep advising them until and unless asked for. Of Course who else is going to help them get over their ex? They need you for support and be there for them when they need you. Give them room to make their own decisions.
Communicate and tell them how important they are to you, sometimes all we need is a little validation and acknowledgement. Share and talk about how you’ve been feeling lately. Be authentic, yourself and honest.
Rethink your friendships, after all setting up a good foundation is the key to fostering good relationships. Stay with your friends through thick and thin. This one day I was talking to my school friend after a long while and the fact that I’ve changed so much irked her a little bit. It is okay for people to change. They grow up, learn, and move forward in life. Learn to adapt to change. Unclench your fist, and let it change, embrace it!
Just like any other relationship, friendships can fall into a rut sometimes especially in these times, when you are away from your friends, you do not know what to talk about, things can be monotonous at times. It is okay, maintain your distance, work on your relationship, give it time and it’ll get back as it was the same again!