What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say, “Remember that girl you used to hang out with in school? Your best friend?” If you instantly think about the best memory with her, you’re doing great my friend! It is a matter of concern when your first thought is about how and why the two of you are no longer in touch. Have you realized that you might be holding a grudge against your friend or the fact that you haven’t been in touch lately pricks you like a thorn? Except, why so?
Why, all the fun memories you made, the muddles you got each other out of are seeming to have become merely disposable memories? Your memories are in “forgotten island” when they truly belong in the “core memories of friendship”. We often have a knack to remember the negatives. What is truly a necessity is to remember the sparkling positives. We get so absorbed and engrossed in the relationship that we forget to take a step back and admire the larger picture if and when it ends. We get so attached to the equation that just the thought of this “end” rattles our soul. Trust me on this one, it is fairly human to be attached.
However, at the same time, it is necessary to acknowledge that sometimes you lose touch with your best friend, and that is okay. When drift is caused by time, we should appreciate that both of us are growing up to be wonderful individuals. With time, while meeting new people, we develop new perspectives. We discover never before known parts of our personality. We realize that our needs change and we have different approaches to fulfill those needs. What we shouldn’t forget is that we don’t remain dependent on each other. We learn to be independent and respectful of our and their choices.
The connection remains when these choices are in harmony with each other. If these choices are not harmonic, we decide what works best for us, and prioritize options for accomplishing our goals. Never! Never has self-prioritization been a subject of banishment. Especially, during the age we are in, our foremost priority invariably remains to build a robust career path. While devoting your focus there, you are not obliged to strain yourself for maintaining a ceaseless relationship. Although, you are pretty much compelled to cherish your memories. Memories where promises were made to make that friendship the best this world has seen.
There was not a speck of doubt while making that promise. Then, why today your faith is wavering? Why do you feel anxious, lost, and insecure? It is unnecessary to worry about losing the bond. We are the happiest when we make memories when we experience new things together when we are in each other’s company. The focus should not be on the shrouded future, it should be on the thriving present. Let’s get lost in our friendships, let’s forget the worries and spread love fearlessly because what’s meant for you will stay with you no matter what.
Forcing a relationship would bring you nothing but strain and discomfort and deep in your heart you know that. It is okay to feel lost sometimes. It is okay to not have a go-to person on a glum day. Do you know why? Supposing you feel disconnected from your friends and are aware that pressurizing a friendship brings no good, we are always there at your service. We at EduPsych are more than happy to be there for you. All the times when you feel lost or alone, our helpline #iHaveAfriend is thrilled to connect you to volunteers who are always there for you. Volunteers on this helpline would listen to you just like your best friend does. They would guide you with their professional knowledge and cheer you just like your loved one would. We understand how it feels to not have someone to talk to, and we won’t let that happen to you. Visit www.edupsych.in for more information.
Visit #iHaveAfriend helpline here: https://www.edupsych.in/counseling-helpline-i-have-a-friend
About the Author:
Riddhi Acharya.
Content Writing Intern at EduPsych
Riddhi is an enthusiastic learner, currently studying psychology. Her zealous and creative personality motivates her to find new ways to charm people around her. It is one of her ambitions to normalize having conversations about mental health issues and encourage people to enhance their well-being. She is aspiring to work towards changing the notion of negativity that is stereotypically linked to psychology and mental health. She occasionally writes, loves playing the drums, is a movie fanatic, and loves having conversations over coffee with her favorite people.