OK to be NOT OK!


Why should we be OK when we're NOT?

Let the world keep telling you about the Beauty there is to be OK with the problems, issues and heartbreaks you have had to go through, but, DON'T fall into the trap of believing it. Be hurt. Be sad. Be broken. Cry. Cry often if you may. Be ok to be not ok. Don't give in for a concept that doesn't heal but avoids.

Acknowledge(admit) and accept

We need acknowledgment/admittance for our pain from our own selves. Acknowledge the hurts, the pains, the loneliness, the misery, the sadness, the heartaches... everything, acknowledge everything that is NOT OK with you. Accept it. Don't ignore it with beliefs that add on to your misery.

Certainty to say Yes

Be certain that, "YES, this is my problem and I'm not ok with it and that I'm sad. I'll have to live with it for the time being, until I'm ok to go past it and then will I figure out a way that will help me bandage the pain, for it to heal. I'll allow it to hurt. I'll allow it to heal. I'll allow it to take as much time as it needs. I'll NOT ignore it."

Why move on or ignore?

People immediately fall in the trap of 'moving on', the moment there's something that's making them uncomfortable or sad or is a reminder that that is the reason behind everything that is going wrong for them. This seems to be the most ideal way to deal with a problem. "Let's not talk about it", "It's best avoided", etc. are phrases we keep repeating to ourselves when we want to hear that, "I can sense how much it's bothering you", "This certainly is very difficult for you", "These are very difficult times for you and you are trying hard to survive it", etc.

Why can't we just say, "Yes, I'm not ok with it"?

Ever imagined how much of a pain does such a concept add on to the one who's single, but wants a companion, is struggling to accept the "I'll date myself" ideology? What about all those who are stuck with daily fights to be able to just fit-in to the image 'prescribed' by society for looking admirable? These are the ones who are fighting a fight that is not their own, rather are fighting against their own very Self! They are unaware of the simplified solution of being first acknowledging, then accepting and then rectifying that that needs rectification. Instead, they undergo immense mental torture as they begin self-pity, self-criticism and self-loathing. So much for what?

Self-defeating fight

The cause behind self-rectification and self-betterment is then transformed into a fight that is with ones own self- a fight that is self-defeating. The saying, "My fight is with my own self", seems to have been misinterpreted in ways that are horrifyingly devastating. This fight first targets all that is supposedly not ok with oneself and then in the name of modification and creation of the Better/Best Self ruins it, kills it and leaves no trace that could ever breathe back life into it. Was that needed? Couldn't a mere correction with some love and care could have done the needful?

What to do?

Everyone and every problem is not the same. Even though we like to believe that it is, let's face it that given a chance you would never exchange your problems with those of someone else's. Then why can't you just accept the fact that it's ok to be not ok? Not in a self-defeating way or ignorant or arrogant a way, but more openly and honestly. When we are not ready to exchange our problems/troubles with those of the others, then aren't we already made to accept it anyway? If we already possess the power to acknowledge, accept and then rectify our issues, then there's no room for wanting to be ok with things we are not; we don't have to be ignorant towards it; we don't have to immediately cut it out of our system; we don't have to abolish it's very existence; we don't have to stitch it up not allowing ourselves to experience the pain so as to appreciate the healing.

Being OK TO BE NOT OK is not being forever unmoved, un-evolved, unchangeable, non-flexible, unapproachable and dead towards growth or betterment. It's about being considerate enough towards oneself so as to allow oneself the beneficial process of moving from acknowledgement(admittance) of the problem to accepting the problem and then working on it to rectify the problem.

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Regardless of how strongly this post is written, having curled up in the darkness myself, I've sensed how difficult it is to even acknowledge the pain. If, you too, are going through a loss, pain, or any form of an adversity, go speak to a friend, a family member or me. I do not promise to solve your problems, I offer you a listening ear that your non-questioning-friend might not have. You might feel neglected, try thinking this: maybe, that friend/family member/loved one has disappeared because they don't know what to say and fear saying the wrong thing while trying to help you with your loss/pain/grief.

If you have problems, I've got ears.

Reach out.

#OK #OKtobeNOTOK #whattodo #selfdefeatingfight #acknowledge #admit #accept #personaldevelopment #selfhelp

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