Are You Setting Boundaries Or Ultimatums?

When people set boundaries, it is an attempt to continue the relationship, not an attempt to hurt the other person. When people give ultimatums, it is an attempt to be in control of the relationships. Are you giving boundaries or ultimatums in your relationships?  

Boundaries are...  

- about choice 

- invite change 

- grounded 

- about taking care of me  

Ultimatums are...  

- about control 

- rigid 

- threatening 

- about punishing you  

With boundaries, we welcome true intimacy by communicating our needs and our limits clearly so as to avoid the buildup of resentment.  So, which are you doing, giving boundaries or setting ultimatums?